Do you feel, do you feel that you feel too much?

So lately I've been suffering from... insomnia... well lets not actually call it insomnia. Lets call it refusing to go to sleep when I'm ridiculously tired for stupid reasons. Tonight's stupid reason was, if I get everything I need to do in the morning done tonight I can sleep in. Cue getting lost in the world wide web again for two hours and I'm back to where I started... tired and still having a list of things to do tomorrow. (hey my candy crush scores just keep getting better and better). Why is it that we don't want to sleep. And by We, I generally mean me. This is not the first time in my life my body has decided sleep is for the weak. I'm not sure if this current aversion is to do with the fact that sometimes sleep time is my only me time. Anyway, writing this blog post isn't really helping me fight it. Back to candy crush, oops I mean my to do list I go.

The Sun is Shining

One of the more heartbreaking things I've had to deal with, is A pointing outside saying look mummy, its a nice day, the sun is shining. Why is this heartbreaking you may wonder... well she was was saying it because I am having a dark day, and I don't want to do anything but lie in bed.

As a parent, the balance between happy parent and depressed soul is so difficult. She is usually pretty good, and happy to just lie with me and watch her Ipad and sleep on and off while I do.. but today the sunshine must've gotten to her. So now I feel so incredibly guilty and am even more aware of the fact that I've wasted an entire day.
Again.

oh well, as I always say the rest of this weeks going to be different..

tomorrow's going to be different.

I don't think this helps.